Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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