names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
