May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
