My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
