my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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