Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Who died my cat blue again?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
