Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
