Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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