we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
