curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
