do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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