R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize