We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
