Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize