nut hugger
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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