Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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