So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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