Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
