Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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