The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
