i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
