It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
this will be a night to untag.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
