i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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