Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
