so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
