Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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