You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
