So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
