I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
