that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
love makes seman taste better
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
