Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
