i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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