can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
