if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dick very happy bro
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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