There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
