i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My pussy is not your playground.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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