dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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