Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
should my penis look like a turkey
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
