I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Pappa wants mamma naked
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Terrible idea I love it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
