We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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