I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
