to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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