If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
