I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
