i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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