i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
