Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
