non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
that is very illegal...i love you.
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