We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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