then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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